Posted by emmy on September 09, 1998 at 01:15:03:
i've never been here before.
i've only read parts of this message board so far- i wanted to
respond to several messages, but figured it might be
better to do it like this.
i am a single mother of two beautiful boys.
Three years ago i tried to end my marriage of 15 years
by ending my life.
God had other plans.-
Our marriage had been unhealthy for many years.
Despite much prayer, and many attempts at counselling
nothing seemed to help.
My husband and i had both come from difficult childhoods-
and my one dream had been to create a home where our children
would be safe and loved. - the reality of our life was anything but.
My husband had a problem managing his anger. i had grown to fear
his presence rather than look forward to it. When he began staying
out late, and leaving early found myself feeling relieved rather than
disturbed, and when he began getting calls from women who would leave
no messages, i knew what was going on.
Rolando, i do not judge you.- That is for the Lord to do, but i do
feel sorry for you and your wife. God created marriage to be a beautiful
and holy union between man and woman, but like so many of his gifts to us
it must be treated with care and respect to survive. i know some couples
who've been willing to put effort into helping their marriages grow.
i myself trust the Lord to have abundant mercy, but please don't forget
he also says, "Do not be decieved, God cannot be mocked, for as a man sows,
so also shall he reap". Rolando i believe God will always be extending His
hand of forgiveness towards you, but i also believe that means reaching out
to recieve it.
My children and i stayed with friends after i got out of the hospital.
My husband moved in with his girlfriend shortly after. They left the area
a few months later. God provided us with expert legal counsel through a
local college Law Clinic, a physician, and Pastoral counsellor
who have been kinder to my children and i than we could ever imagine.
i do understand that God hates divorce. But i also believe that God hates
lying, and suffering, and violence, and adultery.
My husband remarried, and lives somewhere out west. i have no contact
with him, though occasionally he sends a postcard to our oldest son. i wish
him no ill. i ache for our children who have been through so much because
of our choices in life.
i have found myself really bothered by the news media and the Monica-
Clinton saga. We have become a nation ruled not by political leaders, but
by the media, with all it's consumerism, perversion, scandal and lust. God
alone knows a mans heart, including what drives Kenneth Starr, and Bill Clinton.-
My husband had a drug problem,an anger problem, and committed adultry, but i
played a part in the failure of our marriage too. i looked for reasons not to
be at home, got over involved with my church, felt my love grow cold. i believe
that Gods forgiveness is there for all who truly desire it.. including Mr. Clinton.
Jesus, the one in the crowd who could have stoned the woman caught in the act
of adultry- refused to condemn her.
Who am i, to ?