Posted by someone needs help on September 09, 1998 at 20:53:12:
In Reply to: Hi, my 2 cents worth- posted by emmy on September 09, 1998 at 01:15:03:
That was one beautiful letter. I too am having problems accepting my spouses behavior.(like you did)
Although my spouse tells me I am loved , I am continually shown different by the way of life lead. Do I need to explain? ( I rather not).
I do not judge , God is the only one who knows if anything is the truth or not unless you are there(or were). But when your (my) spouse does not wish to tell me the truth about things and continuely says things like " I don't want to talk about it " or " I will tell you on the 12th of never " it is hard to believe the sincerity of their heart.
I am not saying I had no part in my spouses chioce to lie but I refuse to believe that I am still playing a part in the dishonesty. And isn't it ironic that all my spouse says is " I want to be trusted but you will never trust me"
There might not be any more lying going on, but I will never know as I am not allowed to ask questions, because all that is said is " I hate quizzes and you are only trying to control me".
I know my spouse has not wanted to be with me for a very long time, but who is to blame for letting it go this long? Me? (yes because I was in the dark about things, because I didn't care at the time, or care enough to find out the truth )
I do want my life back. I just wish my spouse would have enough confidence to tell me what it
is needed to keep them ( being reasonible)..
Or if that is what my spouse wants then tell me that also. This would be a hard for me because it is not what I want, but I do not have all the say. We are going to counselling and still the life lead tells the story. I love my spouse so much it hurts to ever think of letting go, but I would if that is truly what my spouse wants..please reply