Posted by emmy on September 10, 1998 at 01:03:08:
In Reply to: Re: Hi, my 2 cents worth- posted by someone needs help on September 09, 1998 at 20:53:12:
Dear Someone,
i wish there were words that could make things all better.
i wish i had an answer for you. i wish i could tell you that
my life is easier now, or that the choices i made or will make
in the future are 'right' ones. But i can't, because i would be
lying.
It has taken me a long time to understand that there was nothing
that i could do to 'change' my husband or his behavior. The only
person i really have a chance at changing or controlling is myself.
(And that's often a real challenge.) I wish i didn't feel that
my only option was death, but that is how i saw it.
i was the one making that choice.
i believe that we are influenced by the situations and people around
us but it does still come back to our own free will.
i have to be honest and say i still ache for what i believed our life
'could' have been, but not for what it was in reality.
Love is so much more than words whispered into ears or written on paper.
i'm no bible scholar, but i do read mine, and i don't recall that Jesus says
that He loves us often, but he continually showed his love in ways no words
could ever touch.
Trust can be such a fragile treasure.
i have not usually been a very good judge of who to place mine with.
Someone, i don't think you can ever go 'back' to before, our actions affect
our lives forever. The best i believe we can hope for is to go ahead, and
sometimes the best i can do, is just to get through one minute at a time.
i hope that you and your spouse find peace. i'm glad you are going to
counselling, if you both are willing to work at it counselling can be a
real help.
i wish i could make everything ok for everyone.-
God will never give up on us.
i DO trust Him. He loves you. Always.
emmy