Posted by emmy on September 12, 1998 at 13:43:04:
In Reply to: Re: Hi, my 2 cents worth- posted by nameless on September 10, 1998 at 14:14:49:
Dear Nameless,
i'm soory i have been slow in answering.
i had to think about your questions, and i'm still not
sure i have answers, but here goes.
i physically left my husband by being taken to the hospital.
He made no effort to see me, or locate our children
who i had taken to a friends house.- i'd rather not
go into lots of detail but, my husband not only knew
my intent, he sanctioned it.--
i believe he had left the relationship, (spiritually)
long before.
i don't know that what i did was the best thing.-
i have to confess i often don't do the 'best' thing, no
matter how much i wish to.
i do believe that the Lord will not abandon me no matter
how badly i mess up.
(Which does not give me licence to live recklessly or
without making effort to do what i know is right even
when i don't succeed).
It is hard to believe that God would have told me to
'throw in the towel' on my marriage. It is equally hard
to believe he would have asked us all to continue on as
things were. i could not force my husband to do or feel
differently than he did.- i wish i had been able to stop
what was happening. Selfishly i wanted relief.- There
are times when i still do.- The promise of Heaven is
sometimes so hard to wait for. The life i lead now
is often lonely and overwhelming. The life i am able
to provide for my children is often painfully lacking.
My kids have been through alot.- They are precious
boys who have taught me so many things. My one true
prayer for them is that they will not repeat the mistakes
that their parents have made, and that they will always
know that they are loved.
i have to thank you for your comment about counselling,
it is someting i would so love to do someday- right now
i am on the receiving end of counselling with a very caring
and insightfull pastor, who has helped me to be able to keep
putting one foot in front of the other.
i'm so glad to know that you've been smiling. you gave
me reason to do the same. i hope you are ok. thank YOU.
emmy
has helped me keep