Posted by Leli on December 21, 1998 at 18:00:51:
For a couple of weeks now I've been struggeling with my faith in God. I have so many questions for him. So many things I don't understand. Things like, if God is a good God, who is taking care of his children, why then did I get hurt by those three men? If he is almighty and has all the power, why didn't he stop these bad things from happening? Didn't he love me? Had I done something so bad that he had to punish me like this?
I have been asking myself and God this kind of questions before. But this time I can't seem to open my Bible and read. It is just words in there. Nothing more. And if I ask somebody to pray for me, it is just words... I still go to church, I listen to christian music, and that fills me with joy. I feel that there is something good in it.
I am a leader for a youth group at church. And I'm supposed to answer their questions about God, faith... and sometimes I am responsible for the devotion. And that makes me feel like a fake. How can I tell these young people about a good and caring God, when I don't feel he is? I know faith is a lot more than feelings, but right now I'm not sure that I can say that he is a good God.