Posted by Shari on August 31, 1998 at 20:28:20:
Hello my name is Shari I come visit this place often
to see what people are saying about adulty, I guess
because i have my own ghost and I am the one that
commited adultry, I have been wanting to post my own story, but was afraid to up intill now, but I really
need to know what to do... I left my marriage after 12
years, I was never unfaithful , during this time I had asked my husband to go to counsling he said he would not many times he did not need it and at this point he still will not except it. Well to get to the point at hand I had watched my mom die and battled her cancer for 6 months and when she took her last breath I was the only one with her, a week later my grandma died, I also had lost a son not to long before that, in this time me and my husband grew very distance, I spent alot of time away from home, and when i got home I spent alot of time at my pc and with drew from the whole outside world i could and did not want to cope,. now this is all before christmas, I never took the time to grieve during any of this time, my husband worked long hours, and when he was home he watched football,. that was his life.... so one day in January I broke down over my mother I was grieving bad, and he walked into my office, and asked me what was wrong I told him, he looked at me and said I
do not know what you are going through so i can't help you. that day my bottom of my world fell out. I hated him then,,,,I left a month later I was a mess I did
not know what I wanted in life i wanted time to figure things out, well in that time i slepted with someone,
and i told him , it was my boss my husband asked me to stop sleeping with him and i did but i did not tell him
as i did not want to think he had won I conuituned to hurt him and lie about it, and act as if everything was fine, what I really wanted was to come home, he had asked me but i was not ready it was to soon i had so much i had to figure out,, so i got mad at himm i told him to get on with his life ect,. I would not tell him how i felt, I knew I did love him but yet there was so much more to it,. I wanted him to hurt like I did when I left. so i kepted saying and doing things to push him away. Well after a few months and when i was ready
I asked to come back I told him all I am telling you, and more, and he said no. the divorce was filed. Well
today I am going back, but to the couch and have to get my own place, and I am scared I want it all back I
want his forgiveness I do not know what to do. He has always said the adultry is something he could never forgive, but I think i deseve another chance I was faithful for 12 years and I don't think i can go on without him, I am so sorry,,, and I feel so bad and I have cried so many tears asking forgiveness , I can't get through to him.. help me,,, Thanks...