Posted by Robert Sheffield on February 26, 1998 at 10:12:44:
In Reply to: Adultry, how can I forgive when I cant forget? posted by Chuck on December 23, 1997 at 06:53:52:
I married my wife five years ago and she had two daughters from two seperate fathers. Fathers only in the biological sense, neither met the responsibility criteria. The oldest daughter was twelve when I met her and her father would come into her life for one month and then be gone for a year with no contact. This cycle went on again and again. The youngest, was four when I came into their lives. Her father was a sick individual with pedaphile tendencies. My wife had also been involved with two other men whom were abusive to the point of torture. The abuse ranged from a gun being held to her head to her fingernails being pulled off with a pair of pliars. The oldest daughter was sexually abused by one of these men at the age of nine. My new family came with alot of baggage. I took them in as my own and loved them. My oldest daughter asked me to adopt her three years later which was one of the great joys of my life. I became their father, and still remain so, that they never had. Due to my wifes past, she had a virtual cocktail of emotional problems. One year after our marriage my wife was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. For months at a time she would be bedridden. She went through seizures which would last for 2 to 3 months with 5 to 15 seizures per day. This has gone on for the last four years but she has gotten better each year to the point where she now is almost recovered from her illness. While she was sick I waited on her, cared for her, used all my sick and annual leave to do so. I held the family together, took care of my daughters and kept them strong. With my daughters help, we took care of the house chores, I did ninty percent of the cooking, and the list goes on. Through all of this I stayed and I loved them. On the 24th of Feb. I caught my wife at a motel with another man. I was my families Rock of Gibralta for five years and my wifes reward to me is adultry. Where do I go from here I don't know. I still love my wife so much but how do you get the thought of what happened out of your mind? I have to stay regardless of how I feel. my youngest daughter needs me here as I am the only stability she has ever known. I have no legal tie to her and if I leave I may never see her again. The pain is deep but my love for my wife and children is deeper. Chuck, I wish you the best, your not alone, and may God guide you in the days to come.