Posted by Broken Hearted on December 07, 1998 at 02:07:11:
In Reply to: MY wife cheated! How do i deal with the pain posted by Bill on December 05, 1998 at 15:56:35:
Hi Bill,
My heart went out to you when I read your post. My husband
of 26 years, had an affair with my one time best friend.
I know about the pictures in your mind, playing over and over.
It is so painful to get such vivid pictures. My husband has begged
for forgiveness. But I will be very straight forward and honest.
Forgiveness is a process. Something that does NOT happen
over night. My counselor says it is a form of grieving.
An affair is like a death. It takes time to work through
this process and how much time it takes is different
for everyone. It has only been 3 months since the whole
truth came from my husband. We had a good marriage and
have 4 wonderful kids. The pain is a pain that is
at times unbearable. As far as the pictures in the mind,
I still get them and probably always will. But it does
get less frequent as time goes on. I believe that if your
wife is truely sorry and she does everything possible
to gain your trust and respect back, that those pictures
will eventually not be so vivid. I would suggest that you
get some counseling to help you through this process.
It really does help. I am doing that and my husband
and I separated. I felt that I needed the space to work
this out in my mind. I'm not suggesting that you and your
wife separate, but I am just saying for me, that has helped
to not have him breathing down my neck trying to
always pressure me to get back to normal. I do not
have any wonderful advice. I am still hurting and in agony
myself, but I wanted you to know that I know what
you are going through and that I will pray for you.