Posted by Sandy X on November 02, 1998 at 23:22:49:
In Reply to: I'm scared!!! posted by Broken Hearted on November 02, 1998 at 01:06:32:
You have to listen to yourself, not others in this situation.
You have been married for 27 years (to a Christian Man) Also, meaning that for 27 years he has been faithful. I am assuming that this Christian husband would like to tell you everything and not start up with lies. Ask questions about the relationship then go from there. If you are married to a good person, you might be sorry if you make a hasteful decision to run.
I wish that the pain would go away for you, but I do know that only time will take it away. Go see a christian counselor.
Is your husband sorry?
Also, Has it been six months since your husband was with her and then with you? You really need to get that information -- And get to your State Health Clinic for an Confidential HIV Test (It was free in my state). If your husband truly wants to make things work, he should willingly be testing. If you choose not to do that please make sure to use condoms when/if you decide to have sex with your husband. Don't full around with it! No Games here!!!! HVI Kills.
My husband after 15 years of marriage decided to cheat on me. We have worked things out. Our marriage is stronger than it was before. (Its been 3 years) When you experience this, somethimes you are stronger.
I grew up in a very strong Christian home and living in that environment, I think it makes it even harder in some ways. Being a Christian, you are supposed to forgive. Being a Christian, Thou shall not commit adultry and thou shall not kill are in the same rules. If you kill are you rated the same as someone who has commited adultry? But yet, In another sentence it says God Hates Divorce. What do you do? You have to make up your own mind.
I think people need forgiveness. But I am not God and if it would happen to me again I would not forgive to the extent to let him in my world again.
Don't blame yourself for what he did.
I don't know if I helped - Bye and good luck
P.S. It might be helpful if you find a support group that helps couples in crisis. I couldn't find any in my area. But please talk to someone, I bottled it all up inside and I feel if I could have talked to someone I wouldn't have been depressed so long.