Posted by CK on September 14, 1998 at 15:01:51:
In Reply to: Re: Lost intimacy and betrayal posted by Michelle on September 09, 1998 at 10:29:18:
Michelle,
Thanks so much for responding and sharing your feelings with me. I guess it does do a person good to realize that they aren't the only one feeling so empty and alone. I truly empathize with you equally, and found myself crying along with you.
Unfortunately, the road to healing and forgiveness involves a different process for each individual and their unique situation. Although I feel as though I've exhausted all possible sources and tools available to me, I still find myself incredible filled with pain inside and so alone. The Christian counseling helped me to discover myself and understand that I too, have fallen short of my own expecations and find myself feeling guilty for not being able to move forward and be assertive regarding myself.
The part about your husband turning over his life to God and becoming a Christian emulates my husband exactly, as do your feelings about it.
Fortunately, I didn't grow up with divorce in my home, but unfortunately, noone in my family has EVER gotten a divorce, so its rather forbidden. My son is a senior, so that wouldn't be so hard for me to deal with, but I still know it would hurt him.
I care so deeply about you and all those suffering this trauma. With the presidential infidelities being waved in our face daily, its an issue of frequent conversation wherever you go. Sadly, people don't realize the pain we deal with daily without there casual remarks such as "oh I'm so sick of hearing about this....who cares what he did or with who. He's a good man anyhow." I don't know about you, but I just knot up inside when people make such lax judgement without understanding the betrayal involved.
I deal with many personal struggles, also, and am sorry to hear you've turned to food. That must be a double blow to your esteem. Michelle, try to always remember and tell yourself that YOU are a good person and that God loves you very much. Believe in yourself, take care of you, and do special things for yourself--no matter how small. I'm glad to hear that you read, also, and I have read Hendrix's book, but not the other.
I will keep you in my prayers, Michelle, and would love to keep in touch with you. Please stay strong through your faith and hold onto God's unfailing love for you.
CK