Posted by Eddie Ann on August 09, 1998 at 13:02:06:
Over a year ago my husband of 24 years began chatting with a
woman online. He kept his chats with her from me until
she and her husband were going to be in our area and ask
my husband to show them around. He planned the visit for
months before he finally told me about them coming. The
minute I met the woman, I knew it was more than a friendly
visit. During their visit, she told me all about how long
they had been in touch, what they had talked about, and
that she had come to visit to see if the attraction she
and my husband had for each other would be as strong in
person as online. Well, she decided that she liked me too
much to have the planned affair. When I confronted my husband,
at first he denied it all. I told him I didn't want him
contacting this woman again. He actually cried, and begged
me not to cut him off from his "only true friend" that
he didn't think he could be happy without talking to her.
He swore that there was no sexual content to their chats
and that he had not betrayed me in any way. I thought I
would die right there. And I felt that was for many months.
We have had a very strong marriage and an active sex life.
The only problem we've ever had before this was his
refusal to talk to me. I stillcan't figure out why this
happened. I have tried to forget it and forgive him.
And our marriage seems to be stronger since this thing
happened. But it is still in my heart and on my mind
almost daily. He doesn't feel like he has betrayed me
or our marriage because there was never a physical relationship.
But, he fell in love with another woman. How can I
forgive and forget if he doesn't explain why this happened?
How can I stop hurting if he doesn't acknowledge the pain
his actions caused? I love my husband with all my heart
and I know he loves me. But, how can I make his see how
important it is for me to know why this happened and
what I did to cause him to need this woman? If I try
to talk to him about it, he gets upset and angry. I
need some advise on how to forgive and stop hurting.