Posted by christine on August 03, 1998 at 22:29:42:
In Reply to: Re: the pain of adultry posted by From Theresa to Christine on August 03, 1998 at 22:12:28:
Dear Theresa,
This affair started when she was 23 and she was 37 when it finally ended. She loved him and always thought that at some point she would "get" him. So when she got dumped, she responded like anyone would who had given up her childbearing years and now was hit in the face with the fact that she was never going to have a home and a husband and children. Funny but that NEVER even occured to my husband who said he knew he would hurt her if he left but he never considered he was hurting her more by staying. My husband has been overcome with guilt where she is concerned. There was never a choice between us, but he is not proud of what he did to her. I don't suppose I would love a man that didn't care how much he hurt someone who loved him, but you have to understand that my feelings for her don't include pity. I don't think she got anywhere near what she deserves. I can't quite imagine doing the things she has done both before and after I found out. My husband says that she was trying to make me so angry that I would kick him out and then she would win. She never did quite get it that he could have divorced me and been with her anywhere along the way if that is what he wanted. She threatened to destroy his reputation in the town we live in, she talked to my boys on the phone, at the end we were both alittle afraid of what she would do next. I wanted him to defend me but he had such mixed emotions that it took him a year to work thru them and finally put his foot down. So it was all very complicated. I guess these things always are. Everytime I started to feel alittle better there was a new crisis. The one thing I am sure of is I don't have the strength to go down this road again and I think he knows that.
Thank you so much for your support.
Christine