Posted by Kate on July 23, 1998 at 07:49:46:
In Reply to: Re: Child Abuse / Reply to Mr. Showalter posted by Teresa on July 06, 1998 at 07:46:26:
Hi.
I was abused as a child -- and came from a very disfunctional family -- the two generally go together. It is not at all surprising that your family rejected your story. Generally, disfunctional families reject truths like what you described, because it's too painful to deal with, and because they are so paralyzed by fear that they are unable to do anything about it anyway.
At the same time, I think that it's good that you finally explained yourself to your family. Remember, the truth shall set you free. I think that, by facing the truth, and sharing that truth with your family, you are on the path the freedom from the past -- and living in peace with it.
About your son, nine years old is still very young. I applaud you for continuing to protect him. Even if he were older, though, I believe that having him be with your sister, or perhaps even other members of your family, could put him at risk for further abuse. I say this partly from my own experience, and partly because what you described that your sister did, as an adult (not an immature teenager) demonstrates a pretty high level of dysfunction. This suggests that she was also abused by someone, somewhere -- and that she was not protected by her family when that happened.
Finally, about your son. He is still really young. He was so young when the events happened that he may not even have a conscious memory of them. But they are a part of his unconscious mind, and, at some time, he may demonstrate, at some time in his life, a reaction to those events. THis would be characterized by bad behaviour, anxiety, nightmares, inability to sleep, or other problems. I don't want to alarm you. It's wonderful that he has a mom who wants to protect him. If he demonstrates symptoms like what I've described, he may need to work through what happened with a therapist with child abuse experience, in order for him to truly lay to rest what happened.
Peace be with you.