Posted by Rose on October 26, 1998 at 01:49:57:
In Reply to: Re: Self worth and infidelity posted by Emity on September 25, 1998 at 06:41:42:
Emily and Theresa,
I have been reading your postings and they have helped me.....I found out about my husband's infidelities after I had our 2nd daughter. My self-esteem was low then b/c of my weight gain, then the discovery completely destroyed me emotionally. I have no self-esteem left and my life was shattered. We are working at a new beginning for our 5 yr marriage, b/c the first one is dead. Sometimes I dont believe he deserves me or our kids, but besides the affairs, he has been a great father and husband. I've made it through this ordeal so far b/c of my two beautiful little girls. Every night I thank God for what he has given me-the opportunity to create my 2 beautiful girls, my fmaily and friends, and the love that I had w/my husband. My feelings have changed towards him, but I still love him. It's only been 5 months and my days are still overshadowed w/a dark gloomy sky, but I plan to survive this...I dont plan on wearing my wedding ring anywhere in the near future and cannot imagine saying my vows again. At the moment I'm trying to get over this hump and try to make myself happy so that my girls can be happy. My husband is sticking this out and helping me. He is dealing w/my major depression and mood swings. I pray that this deoression ends soon and that I can begin trusting again. I'm just afraid that I may get hurt again by him. We had a great marriage with plenty of communication and sex, yet the affairs still hapened. I cant understand why....I was a private person who kept my personal problems to myself, but when I discovered his infidelities, it helped to speak to others about it.......Its not my fault, so there is no reason for me to feel ashamed (although I am sometimes)...that is why I tell others so that they can help me deal with my intense pain. I didnt feel as 'alone' when I found out how many other women are going and have been thru this ordeal. I thank God for all he has given me and I know he'll help me through this...I'm glad to hear that both of you are doing better...it gives me hope! Take care..I hope to hear from you...Rose