Posted by Michelle on September 08, 1998 at 21:09:13:
In Reply to: Re: Adultry, how can I forgive when I cant forget? posted by Someone who was hurt ,too on July 20, 1998 at 20:32:05:
I have been trying to forgive my husband for the past 16 months and it seems the closer we get the more the memory of it hurts. I have never experienced so much pain and disappointment in all my life. He was my prince charming, my knight in shining armor. I know this may sound corny...but I thought the world of him and he let me down. Not only that...but he did it at a time when I needed him the most. We were trying to conceive a child at the time and when it didn't happen...I became pretty depressed. I grew more and more withdrawn and he just didn't seem to understand the pain it was causing me. Soon after..he looked for someone else to turn to. To boot, it with someone he worked with and still works with which makes it still painful. He never did confess to me...only after I caught him and even then he confessed a piece at a time. It has really broke me. I always thought of myself as a beautiful strong and independent woman...but now I unfortunately have allowed some insecurities in. I long for the days when we could make love and it was so "private" and special and beautiful. I try so hard not to make my mind wander but I'm not always successful. The thought of him and another woman together. Of course when I saw her she was exactly what everyone said she would be--hard looking with a short mini skirt and spiked heels and wild hair. The complete opposite of me.
Well...you are not alone in trying to forgive. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I would sooner donate bone marrow daily than have to endure this pain.
Cheating was always something other spouses had to deal with--not us. So when it happened to me...it came as a total shock. I am still trying to get over it. My husband has begged for my forgiveness many times on his hands and knees with tears in his eyes. I know it hurts him to see what he put me through. He has treated me different (for the better) since "it" happened..so I must not be too hard on him. He is only human and he made a horrible mistake--one that unfortunately affected both of us. But when we marry it is for better and for worse. Because I still believe in him and see the changes he has made...I'm standing by my man and I hope and pray you do the same thing. God can help take this pain from you if you keep asking Him. If we could only forgive...I'm sure God would help our memory to fade a bit.
God bless!