Posted by Doug Showalter on January 02, 1998 at 13:53:52:
In Reply to: ?????????????????? posted by Thomas on December 31, 1997 at 20:10:42:
Dear Thomas,
From your message, I sense that you are suffering greatly. I am sorry for that. I don't know your circumstances, but I sense that you are feeling very much alone. I sense that you are feeling that your trust has been broken, that God and possibly other people have let you down terribly. I hear your pain, your anger, your disillusionment. But I also hear your cry for help, your cry to find other people who would care about you at this difficult point in your life.
Thomas, I do believe there is help for you. I don't know your situation, but I would encourage you to continue reaching out to others. I would particularly encourage you to seek help from your family doctor and/or from a skilled therapist. Such people are there to help you. You don't have to carry your pain alone. Also, if depression is a factor in your present suffering, a doctor or therapist may be able to advise you about modern treatments which may be of special help to you.
When Jesus was suffering on the cross, he cried out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Jesus' cry of anguish was the cry of the 22nd Psalm. It is also our cry, a cry of despair when things go terribly wrong in our lives, when our hearts are seared with pain.
Such a cry did not cause God to condemn or reject Jesus. And so I believe it is with us. You ask, "for this I'm damned?" No, I don't believe that for a moment! What I do believe is that our God loves us, forgives us, and is always at work [even in ways we cannot see] to bring healing to our suffering. For a time, on the cross, Jesus felt abandoned. But that wasn't the case. For in three days God's love did triumph over all the pain and seeming hopelessness of Good Friday, in a way which astounded the world.
Some Christians assume, and sometimes it's preached, that having faith is virtually an insurance policy against having any problems in life. Having faith is sometimes equated with getting rich, being successful, having no worries, etc.
In sharp contrast, what I have believed and repeatedly experienced in my life is this: problems do come, and sometimes quite unexpectedly, but God has always been at work--often through other people in my life--to uphold me and guide me through those problems.
No doubt about it, the dark valleys can be tough when we are going through them. But there is hope, for we are never alone! These are not just pious words. I truly believe them, because of my own experiences in life, as well as the experiences of others I have known.
Thomas, I will keep you in my prayers. I encourage you to continue reaching out, and particularly to those who are professionally qualified to help you. Take one day at a time, and be gentle on yourself. The dawning of this new calendar year [Anno Domini--"in the year of our Lord"] is in itself a symbol for all of us. It is a symbol that with God, there is always hope and opportunities for new life ahead of us, which will come.
Best wishes,
Doug Showalter