Posted by Doug Showalter on June 25, 1998 at 10:52:24:
In Reply to: INCEST posted by JOSIE on June 19, 1998 at 00:18:57:
Dear Josie,
You raise a very difficult question, in part because you have provided so little information--though, certainly, you are under no obligation to provide more.
Some of the factors which might have some influence on the answer I would give to your question are:
1. whether or not the abuse is still continuing.
2. whether or not the abuser has been confronted and/or punished for the abuse.
3. whether one is absolutely sure that one's mother actually knew. How does one know that? Also, was her knowledge somehow repressed psychologically?
4. how does one's mother feel about the abuse today, and about her own responsibility relative to it?
I believe it is possible to forgive anybody for any abuse. But I also believe that many factors play into the difficulty one has in forgiving. I also believe it is extremely hard to forgive [and perhaps not even advisable to try to forgive?] if the abuse is still continuing.
I hope the pages on this web site, in addition to this message board, may be of some help to you. I will keep you in my prayers.
Doug Showalter