Posted by Jane on April 24, 1998 at 16:03:42:
In Reply to: Re: Adultry, how can I forgive when I cant forget? posted by tracey on April 24, 1998 at 12:19:01:
Tracey:
I found out six months ago this past Monday about my husband's year long affair with a co-worker of his. She was also a friend of the family. I want to say something to make you feel better but first I must tell you that the last six months have been the worst six months of my life. It does get better. I now have days where I feel perfectly normal.
First, and most important, it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault. Unfortunately, there is a whole sisterhood of us out there who have been through this. I have devoted a lot of time and energy to myself these past six months. I exercise regularly, eat right and take time for myself. I must say that intially I did it to look good for him and to look better than her. But, I now do it for me. I just confessed to my aerobic instructor today about my husband's affair (she was concerned that my heart rate was up BEFORE we started working out! Guess what? She's been there too.
I trying to work things out for the sake of my children, my husband and myself. We have been married for 16 years. The last four have been difficult. We have suffered many tragedies and apparently we dealt with the devastation in different ways.
I believe he is sincere that he wants to work it out and I try to give it 100%. I want you to know that my faith in God, working with counselors and the support of my family, friends, and bosses have helped very much. Take each day one step at a time and allow yourself to heal. In the beginning I wanted someone to tell me how long it would take. No one would and I know now why, it's impossible. Everyone is different. I think I have a long way to go. But, six months was really a mile-marker for me. If I had known I would feel this much better in six months when I first found out, I would have had something to look forward. So, maybe you'll be like me. Tough it out, think of that beautiful baby girl. Think of yourself. Don't settle for second best - you deserve the best. But, if he is willing to give you 100% at least let him try.
Bless you.
Jane