Re: the other woman


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Posted by Jane on April 23, 1998 at 18:44:32:

In Reply to: Re: the other woman posted by beth on April 14, 1998 at 14:19:06:

Beth,

First, for all that read this, I am new to the the net and hope that I'm doing this right. For several weeks, I have searched the word "adultry" and read with much interest letters from Doub, Terri, Beth and others. I was hoping to find some comfort and I have.

Six months ago I found out my husband was having an affair with a women he works with. He ended it immediately and I am confident that he loves me and is deeply regretful. The last six months of my life have been pure hell. But, with the help of counseling, God and a remourceful husband, I think we are going to make it. I still have days when I cry all day (today - at work no less!) and can't seem to control it.

I did confront the other women. She was someone I new and counted her among my distant friends. She was kind to my children and I have entertained her at my home. I bought her many presents (while she was sleeping with my husband) because she was always doing thoughtful things for my children. I felt sorry for her being newly divorced and without a lot of extra funds.

The first thing I told her was to stay away from my husband. The second thing I did was to send her dead roses with the following note: "Roses are dead; leaves in a rut; I thought you a friend; but you're just a slut." This caused her to get a protective order through the courts against me. I fought it (I work for wonderful lawyers who represented me for free) and won. I've apolgized to her for being so angry. I'm now mostly at peace with her and my husband. The big problem: she won't allow me to be. We run into each other and she is mean and hateful toward me. I have tried to make amends to no avail. For some reason, I still want to. Her birthday is Sunday. I bought her a simple card and wrote her a long note about how I thought is would be good for all of us if we could at least be amicable. We live in a small community which has very much enjoyed the rumors.

Advice from anyone on this subject would be very much appreciated.

My husband and I are attending a 3 day spiritual marriage encounter next week-end and I am very hopeful that it will help. In fact, many people involved in the program have been down this very painful road themselves.

Jane


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