Posted by Doug Showalter on April 02, 1998 at 17:41:58:
In Reply to: forgiveness for inaction posted by Donna Rowe on March 25, 1998 at 22:52:50:
Dear Donna,
It seems that you have developed some worthwhile insights into past experiences in your life. Such insights can be very helpful, though they may make us feel uncomfortable at times.
I'm sure that most of us, as we look back, can remember moments in our younger years when we did not act in the ways we now wish we had acted. What can you do now, regarding Virginia? You can seek God's forgiveness for what you failed to do in the past for her, believing that God's forgiveness will be forthcoming to you, if you are truly repentant. At the same time, you can resolve to do your best NOT to make the same kind of mistake again in the future, in your dealings with others.
Also, if you are inclined to do more, you might [on the basis of seeing her picture in the paper] consider locating Virginia and renewing your acquaintance with her for "old time's sake." If you did that, your own sense of sensitivity and appropriateness, would likely guide you to see if there was some nice thing you could do to be of help to Virginia now. This would need to be something which you could do sincerely and freely from your heart because now, as an enlightened adult, you really care about Virginia and her well-being. This would also need to be something which she would be pleased to accept, and NOT feel that your ONLY reason for doing it, was to resolve an old childhood guilt, to make yourself feel better.
The fact is that life does give us many "second chances." We grow up, we develop insights into negative behaviors from our pasts, and we can choose [with God's help] to live better lives, beyond those behaviors, in the present and in the future.
Good luck. I hope that all goes well with you. It sounds to me as though you are on "the right track" in that you are now sensitized to and caring about this issue in your life.
Doug Showalter